Published on Saturday, October 14, 2006
The Fayetteville (NC) Observer
Veteran fights for answers on debilitating disease
By Greg Barnes
Staff writer
The words come out in sputters, the halting, deliberate speech of a woman suffering from brain damage.
“I ... wasn’t ... like ... this ... before.”
It’s Sherrie McGahee’s dismissal of a report released last month saying there is no mystery illness known as Gulf War syndrome.
McGahee’s illness mimics the symptoms of multiple sclerosis. Her body shakes. She can no longer walk. Fatigue causes her to take frequent naps. She suffers from depression.
Before she went to war in the Persian Gulf, Army Sgt. McGahee ran a marathon to show the troops she led that, even though she was in her 30s, she could still compete.
McGahee, who lives in Fayetteville, said she doesn’t know what happened once she got to the war theater. She only knows that her body began to deteriorate during her five-month deployment that began in 1990.
Perhaps, McGahee said, it was the drug many soldiers took to protect against nerve gas. Perhaps it was exposure to nerve agents themselves, or to pesticides or even the coal soldiers lit in their tents at night to keep bugs away.
Whatever it was, McGahee and more than 200,000 other soldiers who fought in the first Gulf War insist it caused their illnesses.
Yet, study after study can not pinpoint those illnesses to a specific cause.
The latest study, by the Institute of Medicine, concluded that although there is no mystery illness known as Gulf War syndrome, veterans who fought in the first war are more likely to be stricken with certain ailments.
The report found that 30 percent of Gulf War veterans developed multiple symptoms compared with 16 percent of soldiers who did not serve in the war.
The report confirmed that Gulf War veterans have a higher prevalence of symptoms such as fatigue, memory loss, muscle and joint pain, and difficulty sleeping. It found that these veterans had higher rates of depression, anxiety and post-traumatic stress disorder, as well as amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, also known as Lou Gehrig’s disease.
Strike Lou Gehrig’s disease, and the other symptoms sum up McGahee’s suffering.
McGahee lives in a new home on the site where her old one was destroyed by an arsonist in 1999. Nobody was ever charged with burning her house, but McGahee said she has a pretty good idea who did it. She just won’t say.
After the fire, McGahee went to live in the North Carolina mountains with her mother, whom she still calls every day. McGahee said she adores her mother; she just doesn’t want to live with her anymore. We’re both too opinionated, she said.
McGahee returned to Fayetteville about two years ago after her handicap-accessible home on Old Spears Road was built through a Department of Veterans Affairs grant.
The home is sparsely furnished with no luxuries other than a 50-inch plasma TV in one corner of the living room.
“I ... deserve ... that,” McGahee said, laughing heartily. “I ... don’t ... do ... things ... for ... myself. ... That ... was ... a ... splurge.”
Friends and family tried to persuade McGahee to put the TV in her bedroom, but she would have none of that. McGahee doesn’t want to lie in bed all day.
Although her body continues its decline, she works on keeping her mind in shape.
“I’m ... trying ... to ... get ... better,” she said.
McGahee, now 50, watches “Jeopardy” to keep her memory sharp. She joined her neighborhood’s community watch program to help keep herself occupied and protected. Her youngest daughter, 22-year-old Tara, lives with her.
She has five children in all, from two marriages. Her last husband left her in 1993, leaving McGahee alone to raise the children.
Through all the pain and depression, McGahee has struggled to remain upbeat. She said she considers herself lucky.
“I ... don’t ... blame ... the ... Army ... for ... what ... happened ... to ... me ... and ... I’m ... not ... angry ... with ... anyone,” McGahee said. “My ... kids ... are ... angrier ... than ... I ... am. But ... I ... managed ... to ... raise ... them. It’s ... been ... a ... struggle.”
She said her children don’t understand. They want her to hurry up her speech, but she just can’t. Her brain won’t let her.
McGahee said she has good days and bad. On the bad days, she said, she is so tired and depressed that she just wants to sleep. The bad days are almost too much to bear.
“Sometimes ... I ... feel ... like ... giving ... up,” she said. “The ... next ... day ... I ... know ... I’ll ... have ... to .. do ... the ... same ... thing ... again.”
Although the latest study doesn’t make much new ground — it largely examined hundreds of previous studies — it does offer recommendations:
Screening the medical conditions of soldiers before they deploy and after they return. The military is now required by law to screen the soldiers but doesn’t always do it.
Assessing the exposure of potential toxins by monitoring battlefields to know what is there. Paul Davidson, executive director of the National Gulf War Resource Center, said the military seems committed to exposure assessment.
Surveillance for adverse outcomes, such as cancer, birth defects and psychological problems, that could surface years after the soldiers return.
Overall, Davidson called the report “fairly good,” but he worries that it could cause the federal government to curtail research and overlook other reports that this study did not examine.
He said The National Gulf War Resource Center is convinced that Gulf War illness exists.
“No matter what you call this illness, there is an illness and it is almost certainly caused by some sort of toxic exposure,” Davidson said. “We want to find out what it is, how it works and how to treat it. And if it’s more than one, we want to find out what all of them are and how to treat them.”
Steve Robinson, governmental relations director for Veterans for America, said many Gulf War veterans are not being compensated for multiple illnesses that are considered undiagnosable.
Robinson said some members of Congress are fed up with the VA’s stand on Gulf War illnesses and have started sending letters to government officials.
The lawmakers, led by Sen. Dianne Feinstein of California, want the VA to presume that veterans contracted their illnesses from fighting in the Gulf War and to compensate them accordingly, Robinson said. A similar concession was finally made to soldiers suffering from the effects of Agent Orange during the Vietnam War.
“Congress is tired of the VA and the Institute of Medicine not having any answers and still debating what vets are suffering from,” Robinson said. “The same thing that was happening to Vietnam vets is now happening with Gulf War veterans.”
U.S. Rep. Mike McIntyre, a member of the House Armed Services Committee, said Congress will be reviewing other mandated reports from the Institute of Medicine on the effects of biological and chemical weapons related to the first Gulf War.
“It is essential that all of our veterans receive the benefits that they need and deserve,” said McIntyre, a Democrat from Lumberton. “The bottom line is our veterans are suffering and they need help, and we need to help them.
“I intend to make sure that none of our Gulf War veterans are left behind.”
McGahee has heard similar words before. She hopes this time will be different, that Congress will step in and help veterans such as herself. But she is well aware of the 30-year fight Vietnam War veterans went through before getting benefits for the effects of the defoliant Agent Orange.
McGahee said she will keep fighting until something more is done to help veterans in her condition. Fighting for better benefits, and fighting to improve the quality of her life.
“I ... get ... angry ... with ... myself,” she said. “I ... can’t ... do ... what ... I ... used ... to ... do. ... But ... I ... can’t ... give ... up.”
Staff writer Greg Barnes can be reached at
barnesg@fayettevillenc.com
or 486-3525.
Copyright 2006 - The Fayetteville (NC) Observer